Urdu Adult Jokes

1-- Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2

din
baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ? Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
2- Girl Asked Plastic surgeon 2 make another hole near her ass
surgeon was surprised and asked why?
girl: Business is gud so opening a new branch "
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2 din
baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ?
Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Marzi se ho sex tu paap nahi hota
Kunwari se ho tu mood kharab nahi hota
condom zarur lagana mere dost kyunke us time
LORAY ke Pass DAMAGH nahi hota
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A Girl after talking Sardar's dick in her mouth , 1000 nikal warna
kaat lungi
sardar : 500 mujhe de warna peeshaab kar donga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Husband: Shadi k baad zindagi kutte jaisi ho gayi hai
Wife: Kutte se kya barabari karoge , woh to 1 ghenta phasa k rakhta
hai tumhari to 1 min main gand phat jati ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Husband: Begum Neeand Nahi aa rahi Sex Ho Jaye?
Wife: Madarchood Meri choot k andar teri maa lori de rahi hai jo
tujhe
neeand a jaye gi?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A 75 Years Old Man talking to his penis
We were born togather , grown up togather , enjoyed life togather ,
Then why did u die before me?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Teacher ne pocha Aisi Konsi cheez hai jisay tum log dekh sakte ho par
pakar nai sakte?
student" MADAM APP KE MAMAY
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Interview:Sardar g batao Konsi cheez tez chalti hai aur jis k 4 payen
hain
Sardar: CAR
Interviewer: Galat, Honda Car Ok next
Woh Kia hai jis k 2 payen hain aur bohat tez chalti hai
Sardar: Motor Cycle
Interviewer : Galat Yamaha Motor Cycle
Now sardar went mad aur bola Interview gaya bhosray main ab mere
sawal
ka jawab do
Sardar : Idher baal Udhar baal Beach main chaid
Interviewer : CHOOT
sardar: Nahi Galat " TERI MAA KI CHOOT '
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Hasband raat ko wife ko kar raha tha,kartai kartai papo ki ankh khol
gai papo apni maa ko dekh kar wash rööm main chala gaya Muth marnai
laga baap naydekha to poucha kya kar rahai ho papu; apna kam khud
karta hon kisi ke maa nahi chodta.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Reena-'What is difference between Boys & Girls?' Tina-'Boys R
naughty,We R Beauty.They R Lyer,We R Fire.They'vest,We've
Breast.They' ve Muscle,we've nipples.they' ve night fall,we've 2 big
balls.they'veole,we've a big hole.they can fight, we can
bite.they
can fuk,we can suck.

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Urdu Adult Jokes

LUN ne 3 wja likh k arzi

LUN ne 3 wja likh k arzi di k meri salary barhai jaye

1-Aksar nite duty krta hon

2-aksar tang jaga duty lag jati hai

3-Duty wali jga py bot grmi hy

Intzamia ny arzi mustrad karty howy 3 wja btain

Condom Aur TUM Main kiya farq hai

Question: Condom Aur TUM Main kiya farq hai ???

Soch kar batao

Nai pata..?

Answer: Koi farq nahin, Dono Lun per charty hain..!!

Terms

Larki apni Marzi se de to Pyar

Dost Dilain to Uphaar
Ghar wale dilain to Sanskaar
aur hum apne aap le lain to Balatkaar

sindhi sex

A sindhi has sex every alternate day..

His friends ask why donot daily?
Sindhi replies..

“Warri baba ek din to condom sukhaney me lag hi jata he na

Ghus Gia Aadha (By: Shan fsd)

A man jumps into his bed n starts making luv,

woman in bed says – jijaji main apki biwi nahi saali radha hoon

man: ab kahe ki RADHA jab ghus gaya AADHA1

Siti (by: shan fsd)

girl MOM se jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap

ki nahi ati kiun?
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire b bajti the lekin tere bap ne baja baja
kar kharab kardi.

Load

Chairman wapda nay sex ka doran apni biwi sa pocha ,Bol na mari jaan tum ko kya gham hai ?Biwi boli, Sartaj load ziada our voltage kam hai

bhegi larki ka badan

Bhegi larki ka gela badan dekh k larka bola: Ap ki head light on ho gai ha

Larki: bil mera bap bhare ga tmhe kia
Larka: par bijli ka khamba to mera hil raha ha.

Fucking daughter

Daughter`s letter after marriage

“fine here mOM. HuSbanD FUCkinG me All TIMe -WhilE baTHInG COOkInG WAshInG IRonInG reAdiNG anD SorrY 4 ShakY HandwriTIng

Chota or patla lun

Ek larkay ka lun chota or ptla tha,islye wo apni lover ko andhre mai le gya or us k hat mai pakra diya to Lover boli: Darling u knw, I DONT SMOKE

Dalla….

Jin: Kya Hukum hai merey Aqa?

Boy: Mujhey Khobsurat larkian laker doo..
Jin: Bhanchod mei Jin hoon Dalla Nahin…
Boy: To Dalla kidhar hay…?
Jin: Wo is Waqt Sms perh raha hay….

Tendulkar

Tendulkar was fucking a girl,”Aaj tumhari pitch par bohat ghas hai.”

Gal “kia bat kartay ho aj tumhara karnai ka dil nahieen hai warna to abhi thori deer pehlay hi Shahid Afridi century Score kar K giya hai.”

Oscar Nominess for 4 best BP films

Oscar Nominees for 4 Best BP Films.

1)Hasina Ki Gaand Main Pasina.
2)Condom Apna Or Choot Parai.
3)Pappu Fauj Main Biwi Mauj Main.
4)Salma Pe Charh Gaya Balma

Punjab Police

Punjab Police di pehchaan:

Tidd aggay nu,
Bund pichay nu
Akhaan Laal,
Moun te Maa di Gaal
Topi bharwatteyan te,
Te huth saara din Tatteyan te.. !!!

Nikal gaya kya ?

Ye Honey Moon kya hota hai ?

Dabao aur jaan lo ….

H = Haye , Mat karo …

O = Oh… Na dabao …

N = Nipple dukhta hai….

E = Eetna Lamba ?

Y = Ye kitna kaala hai?

M = Marr gayiiiii

O = Or Daalo

O = Or Tez …

N = Nikal gaya kya ?

baaz na aaya.

Tez hawa ka jhonka aaya, saath main teri shulwar laya.

Tub maray dil main khiyal aaya, k aaj bi mera yar bund merwanay sa baaz na aaya.

Pashto Funny SMS - Jokes

Bega nast woma khafa da yaar kosa ki
Yar raowato da kora pa gussa ki
Che ye sa pa khwala ratla haga ye owe
Der ye oratalam khpala darwaza ki
Bia ye owe che ta rog ka lewany ye
Ma we rog insane na garze pa shpa ki
De we da kho nema shpa tora tiara da
Ma wey khwan kawi dedan da yar tyara ki
De we pagala zan ba pa cha mar ke
Ma we khwand kri zankadan da yar kosa ki

1 Saray da kor na ra owato, Khazi pe pa sandal guzar oko
.
Bahar walar kasano oledo, nu o ye way:
.
"Da bal sandal hum ra guzar ki che dwana ogandama"

1st Saray: Pa kor ki sirf zama Hukam chalegi, Che za owem che garmi oba rawre
nu bas hagu Garmi oba rawre
.
2nd Saray: Garmi Oba wali??
.
1st Saray: Pa garmi obo lokhi kha pakegi kana

Mashom plar ta: Daji mala motor wakhla che garzama pa ki
.
Plar: Wale da khpay de da sa da para di?
.
Mashom: 1 khapa da Break da para aw bala da Accelator da para

Sahil par larki owr larka baithy howe tay
Larki nai larkay se pocha: Tum kuch boltay kion nahi??
.
Larka ne sharmay howe ungli se rait par lekha: Mari Naswar mi acholi di

Megay: Ta do so kalo ye?
Hathi: 3 kalo
Hathi: Aw ta da so kalo?
Megay: 10 kalo
Hathi: Da dono dero kalo ye aw dona waroky wajood?
Megay: Ror de rojo kharab karay de

1 salay pa sarak rawan wo
da yo gaday landay ye spay oledo
.
Spay da gaday na rakago aw waye way : Rawoza dalla "Ta dase MECHANIC ragaly ye"

1 kor kara gal rala, aw har sa ye ra gwand kra
pa akhira ki 1 janamaz wo haga ye hum ra wagesto
.
Da kor bodia khaza owe: Da kho rata pregda, mong ba pe moz kawo
.
Gal: waly za darta musalman na khkarama so?
 

1 Podari da chat na khkta raprewato
.
khalak te gair chapair ragond sho
khalko te tapos oko: Sechal osho rora
.
Podari: Pata neshta yaar mong pakhpala was ralo :)

Mashom: Moro zama da paida kedo na makhke ta za ledaly woma?
.
Mor: Na
.
Mor: No zama da paida ke do na pa ta za sanga opejandama?

Mula pa KHUTBA ki wail
chi Prado khazo ta ma Gorey da de sara Nazar kamegi
1 Buda warta owail
Dala che pa mong de Chashmi wacholi no oss di Masala okra.

Mula: Nan saba pa CABLE dere kharaby channelay razi
.
.
1 saray: Na zamong pa TV kho der safa razi, jee tasu khpal taar check kai

1 Podari pa janaza ki olar wo no Ustaz awaz oko
"Emandaro Painsy ochati kai"
Lag saat pas ye bia awas oko
"Emandaro Painsy ochati kai"
Lag saat pas ye bia awaz oko
"Emandaro painsy ochati kai"
.
Podari da shata na awaz oko: Ustaji ka sawab pa ki der wi che nu chi partoog warta Obaso

1 saray da jawand na der tang wo, no way che
"Da de jwand na kho marg kha de"
.
Pa haga saat hum farishta rala aw wa ye way "za ta butlo la raluma"
.
Saray: Os saray gup hum na she laga wale !

Alak: Daji ka za pas shum nu mala ba sa akhly
.
Plar: Ka ta pass she no za ba tala 1 cyle wakhlam. aw ka Fail shwe nu tala ba 20 cycle
wakhlam
.
Alak: ka Fail shum nu 20 cycle wali?
Plar: Bia darla da cycle dukan achoma
 

1 kaliwal pa cenima ki film katalo
.
Pa film ke 1 sher pa manda manda ra rawan wo
.
Kaliwal owerodo aw sadar ye pa oga ko aw manda ye kra
khalko warta way, alaka ma takhta, da khu bas film de
.
Kaliwal: Da kho mata hum pata da che da film de, kho haga kho zanawar de haga ta sa pata da

Mujrim: Koshish oka che umar qaid washi kho che da marg saza na bach sham
Wakil: Ta fikar ma kawa
.
Da Case na pas
.
Mujrim: sanga chal washo
Wakil: Yar der pa grana me umar qaid pe wako gany judge kho reha(azad) kare way

1 Saray PCO ta nanawato aw jaib na ye mobile rawesto aw chata ye call oko, bia PCO na ra
owato
Cha te tapos oko: Che sta sara mobile wo no PCO ta sala tlay?
Saray: Yar mata me malgaray way che PCO na call kay no paisy lage lagi

Alak-1: Yaar che da nawar da shpe wali na razi?
.
Alak-2: Mara ka nawar da shpe ra ozi hum nu dona tyara wi sok ye sa wene

Maths Teacher: Mong 8 kailay pa 3 kasona barabar sanga taqseema wale sho?
.
Student: Che da de na Juice jor ko nu

Mareez: Doctor sahb che pa tol wajood ke pa kam zay gota gdam nu dar kawi
.
Doctor warla da tol wajood X-ray owesta, nu pata walageda che da 1 gotay adoki ye mat dy

Teacher: che kam saray his sa hum na awre, haga ta ba pa English ki sa wayo?
.
Student: Haga ta sa hum wele sho, haga ye kam awre!!
 

1 saray beze (bakriyan) pati ta botley
nu bas saray te tapos oko: Da beze charta bozey?
Saray (pa gusa ki): Da school ta bozama
Haga bal saray: Mara gup ma lagawa nan khu Etwaar day !

Saray: Doctor Sahb pa Plastic Surgery ba so na kharch rachi?
.
Doctor: 2 Laakh
.
Saray: aw ka Plastic mong khpal rawro nu?

1 saray pa balti ki oba wray
Baran rakhky sho aw da baran saski pa balti ki oleda
.
Saray: o yaar tolay oba rana lamday shwe

1 alak pa 1 college ki MBA dakhilay da para FORM daka walo
Pa gate ki chowkidar na ye tapos wako: Mama da sanga college
.
Chowkidar: der behtareen college de, ma pakhpal da de college na MBA kare da

Father: Bacho Parcha de sanga wakra
.
Son: Hago pa parcha dase sawalona kare wo che pa haga za na pohedama, ma warla dase jawabona
warkare de che pa hagay ba Inshallah hago na pohegi

Sawal: Haga kama Khabara da che student ba da nan na zar kala makhke hum kawala, os ye hum
kayi, aw da qayamata pore ba ye kayi
.
Jawab: Bas yaar da saba na ba Study shuro koma

Father to Son: Da de khwata kor genie ta ogora pa class ki "First" ragale da,
.
Son: Hage ta ba me katala zaka kho fail shoma !

Father: Zweyia hes khabara na da, bas sta pa qismat ke ba ye Fail kedal lekali wo
.
Son: Aw kana da kha da che tol kaal me kar na de karay gany tol mehnat ba me pa obo waray wo

Father: Bachiya pa Maths ke wali Fail shwe?
.
Mashom: Abbu Ustaz 1 wraz wayi che 6+4=10
bala wraz wayi che 8+2=10
bala wraz wayi che 5+5=10
Haga pe pakhpala na pohegi no ma ba sa Pass ki !!

Funny Poetry
Zama da meney transformer ba akhir oswazegi
.
janana ta che da raqeeb kor ta kunday achawe

Father to Son: Bachiya mala 1 glass oba rawra
.
Son: na Daji za nasham
.
2nd son: Daji da der be-adaba de warsha pakhla rawala

Saleem: Yaar zamong ustaz wayi che sok da meekhee (bhains) paye ske no da haga dimag der
taizigi
.
Shahid: Gup lagayi mara, ka dase way no os ba zamong katay Doctor wo

1 Tota 3 zubanien bol sakta tha, English, Urdu, Pastho
1 Admi ne chek karne ke lie ek sawal teeno zubano mao pocha
.
Admi: who are you?
Tota: I am Parrot
.
Admi: Tum kon ho?
Tota: Mai tota hon
.
Admi: ta sok ye?
Tota: Za sta da khazi mairha yama. shal zala kho mi darta owe che toti yama

Doctor to Charsi: Ciggrette Noshi Insan ko ahista ahista mar daiti hai
.
Charsi: No teek da ka naika zamonga kama tadi da

 

 

 

urdu Jokes

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie
Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas

Boy 1: Larkion ko "I love you" bolny ki sab se achi jagah konsi hai?
Boy 2: Daata Darbar
Boy 1: Kion ??
.
Boy 2: Kionky wahan larkiyon ne chapal nahi pehni hoti

Doctor owr Allah ko khabi naraz mat karna
Kionke jab Allah naraz hota hai, tu wo Doctor ke pas bhej daita hai
Owr jab Doctor naraz hota hai, tu wo Allah ke pas bhej daita hai

Ek admi ne zindagi se tang aa kar kaha
"Es zindagi se tu Mout achi hai"
.
Ek dam farishta aya owr bola ke "mai tumhy lainy ayah on"
.
Admi bola: Lo ab insaan mazak bhi nai kar sakta

Husband to wife: Did you have any boyfriend before our marriage?
Wife remained silent for some time…
Husband: mai es khamoshi ko kia samjhon??
Wife: Abhy gin ne tu dey..:)

Larki apni Dadi se: Main school nahi jawongi. Rasty main larkay chairty hain
.
DADI:Bahany mat banawo, mai bhi usi raste se roz bazar jati hon, Mujhe to koi nahi chairta

Shadi k Dosre Din Baiti apni maa Se: Aaj mairi Unse Larayi Hogayi
.
Maa: Baita Shadi mai Jhagry tu Hotay Rehty hain, koi baat nahi
.
Baiti: Wo tu Theek hai Par Ab Laash ka kia karain?

Larki ek Baba Jee se: Baba jee mere lie dua Karen ke meri shadi kesi samajdar admi se hojaye
.
Baba Jee: Ghar chali ja baiti, Samajdar admi khabi shadi nahi karta

Girl: Doctor sahib mairy boyfriend ko andar bhula lejeye
.
Doctor: Trust me mai shareef admi ho….
.
Girl: Nahi Doctor Sahib, apki nurse bahir akeli hai, owr maira boyfriend shareef nahi hai

Doctor: Bachy ko pani dainy se pahle ubaal lia karain
.
Sardar: Wo tu teekh hai lekin Ubaalny se Bacha mar tu nahi jayega??

Urdu Sms

Love is life

Love is life,
life is wife,
wife is knife,
knife cut the life

Neche se bahir nikalo

Dost: Biwi se jhagda hua tha na solve hua kya ???

Santa: Haan meri biwi Ghutno pe chal ke aayi thi mere pass

Dost: Ohh Kya bola???

Santa: Boli palang ke niche se bahar nikalo .

Ab nhi marungi

Sardar Ne Idhar Udhar Dekha

Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela
Note ke oper lekha tha EID MUBARAK
.
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha,
owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola
KHAIR MUBARAK

Mun Mai Pani Ana

Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
Mun mai pani ana”
.
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia

A Creative Man Is Motivated

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve,
not by the desire to beat others.

Khawab Ki Tabeer

Mere Wajood Ki JaGeer USS Ne Mangi hai,
Ajab Khawab Ki Tabeer Us Ne Mangi hai,
Uss Ki Qaid Me Rehti Hoon Main Pehle B,
Najane Phir Q Zanjeer Us Ne Mangi hai?
Gumaan Hota ha Wo Bhool Sakta hai mujhe,
Q K Aaj Meri Tasveer Us Ne Mangi hai,
Mere KHUDA Mujhe Us K Naseeb Mein Likh De,
K Mujh Se Meri TaQ’Deer Us Ne Mangi hai