Urdu Adult Jokes

1-- Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2

din
baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ? Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
2- Girl Asked Plastic surgeon 2 make another hole near her ass
surgeon was surprised and asked why?
girl: Business is gud so opening a new branch "
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2 din
baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ?
Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Marzi se ho sex tu paap nahi hota
Kunwari se ho tu mood kharab nahi hota
condom zarur lagana mere dost kyunke us time
LORAY ke Pass DAMAGH nahi hota
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A Girl after talking Sardar's dick in her mouth , 1000 nikal warna
kaat lungi
sardar : 500 mujhe de warna peeshaab kar donga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Husband: Shadi k baad zindagi kutte jaisi ho gayi hai
Wife: Kutte se kya barabari karoge , woh to 1 ghenta phasa k rakhta
hai tumhari to 1 min main gand phat jati ha
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Husband: Begum Neeand Nahi aa rahi Sex Ho Jaye?
Wife: Madarchood Meri choot k andar teri maa lori de rahi hai jo
tujhe
neeand a jaye gi?
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A 75 Years Old Man talking to his penis
We were born togather , grown up togather , enjoyed life togather ,
Then why did u die before me?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Teacher ne pocha Aisi Konsi cheez hai jisay tum log dekh sakte ho par
pakar nai sakte?
student" MADAM APP KE MAMAY
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Interview:Sardar g batao Konsi cheez tez chalti hai aur jis k 4 payen
hain
Sardar: CAR
Interviewer: Galat, Honda Car Ok next
Woh Kia hai jis k 2 payen hain aur bohat tez chalti hai
Sardar: Motor Cycle
Interviewer : Galat Yamaha Motor Cycle
Now sardar went mad aur bola Interview gaya bhosray main ab mere
sawal
ka jawab do
Sardar : Idher baal Udhar baal Beach main chaid
Interviewer : CHOOT
sardar: Nahi Galat " TERI MAA KI CHOOT '
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Hasband raat ko wife ko kar raha tha,kartai kartai papo ki ankh khol
gai papo apni maa ko dekh kar wash rööm main chala gaya Muth marnai
laga baap naydekha to poucha kya kar rahai ho papu; apna kam khud
karta hon kisi ke maa nahi chodta.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Reena-'What is difference between Boys & Girls?' Tina-'Boys R
naughty,We R Beauty.They R Lyer,We R Fire.They'vest,We've
Breast.They' ve Muscle,we've nipples.they' ve night fall,we've 2 big
balls.they'veole,we've a big hole.they can fight, we can
bite.they
can fuk,we can suck.

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Urdu Adult Jokes

LUN ne 3 wja likh k arzi

LUN ne 3 wja likh k arzi di k meri salary barhai jaye

1-Aksar nite duty krta hon

2-aksar tang jaga duty lag jati hai

3-Duty wali jga py bot grmi hy

Intzamia ny arzi mustrad karty howy 3 wja btain

Condom Aur TUM Main kiya farq hai

Question: Condom Aur TUM Main kiya farq hai ???

Soch kar batao

Nai pata..?

Answer: Koi farq nahin, Dono Lun per charty hain..!!

Terms

Larki apni Marzi se de to Pyar

Dost Dilain to Uphaar
Ghar wale dilain to Sanskaar
aur hum apne aap le lain to Balatkaar

sindhi sex

A sindhi has sex every alternate day..

His friends ask why donot daily?
Sindhi replies..

“Warri baba ek din to condom sukhaney me lag hi jata he na

Ghus Gia Aadha (By: Shan fsd)

A man jumps into his bed n starts making luv,

woman in bed says – jijaji main apki biwi nahi saali radha hoon

man: ab kahe ki RADHA jab ghus gaya AADHA1

Siti (by: shan fsd)

girl MOM se jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap

ki nahi ati kiun?
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire b bajti the lekin tere bap ne baja baja
kar kharab kardi.

Load

Chairman wapda nay sex ka doran apni biwi sa pocha ,Bol na mari jaan tum ko kya gham hai ?Biwi boli, Sartaj load ziada our voltage kam hai

bhegi larki ka badan

Bhegi larki ka gela badan dekh k larka bola: Ap ki head light on ho gai ha

Larki: bil mera bap bhare ga tmhe kia
Larka: par bijli ka khamba to mera hil raha ha.

Fucking daughter

Daughter`s letter after marriage

“fine here mOM. HuSbanD FUCkinG me All TIMe -WhilE baTHInG COOkInG WAshInG IRonInG reAdiNG anD SorrY 4 ShakY HandwriTIng

Chota or patla lun

Ek larkay ka lun chota or ptla tha,islye wo apni lover ko andhre mai le gya or us k hat mai pakra diya to Lover boli: Darling u knw, I DONT SMOKE

Dalla….

Jin: Kya Hukum hai merey Aqa?

Boy: Mujhey Khobsurat larkian laker doo..
Jin: Bhanchod mei Jin hoon Dalla Nahin…
Boy: To Dalla kidhar hay…?
Jin: Wo is Waqt Sms perh raha hay….

Tendulkar

Tendulkar was fucking a girl,”Aaj tumhari pitch par bohat ghas hai.”

Gal “kia bat kartay ho aj tumhara karnai ka dil nahieen hai warna to abhi thori deer pehlay hi Shahid Afridi century Score kar K giya hai.”

Oscar Nominess for 4 best BP films

Oscar Nominees for 4 Best BP Films.

1)Hasina Ki Gaand Main Pasina.
2)Condom Apna Or Choot Parai.
3)Pappu Fauj Main Biwi Mauj Main.
4)Salma Pe Charh Gaya Balma

Punjab Police

Punjab Police di pehchaan:

Tidd aggay nu,
Bund pichay nu
Akhaan Laal,
Moun te Maa di Gaal
Topi bharwatteyan te,
Te huth saara din Tatteyan te.. !!!

Nikal gaya kya ?

Ye Honey Moon kya hota hai ?

Dabao aur jaan lo ….

H = Haye , Mat karo …

O = Oh… Na dabao …

N = Nipple dukhta hai….

E = Eetna Lamba ?

Y = Ye kitna kaala hai?

M = Marr gayiiiii

O = Or Daalo

O = Or Tez …

N = Nikal gaya kya ?

baaz na aaya.

Tez hawa ka jhonka aaya, saath main teri shulwar laya.

Tub maray dil main khiyal aaya, k aaj bi mera yar bund merwanay sa baaz na aaya.

Hindi / Urdu Adult SMS Jokes {New, Free & Funny}

Full Time Masti … Non stop fun

6 Inch ka hai.
.
Size normal he
.
.

Mazboot he

.
.
Ziyadah mota bhi nahin he
.
.
2 larkiyan dekh chuki hain
.
.
Lena he to bolo?
Full Time Masti
Non stop Fun
Mera…
.
LG KG 195

Usne utari saree…

Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

Nikal lena apna ATM

Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
or
phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
to tum nikal lena apna ATM

Pehlay KISS karo, phir palang per litao

Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na

Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

Larkion ko ezzat do

“Larkiyo Ko Ezzat Do
Q Ke Agr Aaj Tum Un Ko Ezzat Do Gay
To Kal Ko ho skta hai k
Wo B Tum Ko Apni Ezzat Day Den”…
(Professor Dr. Imran Hashmi)

Dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

one girl asked to pappu

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

Tujhey sub pata hai

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!

Biwi pani se bohat darti hai

Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?
Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

Itnay saray bachay aik sath

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola

Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:
“Aao kamray mein chalain”
Reema; “Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai”

Larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hay

Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?
Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p

Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…

aaj tumhein akeiley mein….

aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
le ja kar…
apney hontoon se eik…
k…
ki…
kis..
kiss…
kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……….

pehlay hath mai lo, phir mun mai …

pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

Us nay kaha aur dabao

us ne kaha or dabao,
main dabaya,
us ne kaha or dabao,
main ne or dabaya,
us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya,
us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya . . . Â
dekha ho gya na suit case band:)

Aik bar karo na plz…

Aik bar karo na plz..
kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
plz karo naaa……..
muje acha lage ga…
aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
kar do na plzz…
aik pyara sa SMS!!!

Teri sula ke lu?

teri sula ke lu?
ya bitha ke lu?
ya tujhe karu khada
ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
ab tu hi bata
ki mein teri…
photo kaise lu.

urdu Jokes

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie
Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas

Boy 1: Larkion ko "I love you" bolny ki sab se achi jagah konsi hai?
Boy 2: Daata Darbar
Boy 1: Kion ??
.
Boy 2: Kionky wahan larkiyon ne chapal nahi pehni hoti

Doctor owr Allah ko khabi naraz mat karna
Kionke jab Allah naraz hota hai, tu wo Doctor ke pas bhej daita hai
Owr jab Doctor naraz hota hai, tu wo Allah ke pas bhej daita hai

Ek admi ne zindagi se tang aa kar kaha
"Es zindagi se tu Mout achi hai"
.
Ek dam farishta aya owr bola ke "mai tumhy lainy ayah on"
.
Admi bola: Lo ab insaan mazak bhi nai kar sakta

Husband to wife: Did you have any boyfriend before our marriage?
Wife remained silent for some time…
Husband: mai es khamoshi ko kia samjhon??
Wife: Abhy gin ne tu dey..:)

Larki apni Dadi se: Main school nahi jawongi. Rasty main larkay chairty hain
.
DADI:Bahany mat banawo, mai bhi usi raste se roz bazar jati hon, Mujhe to koi nahi chairta

Shadi k Dosre Din Baiti apni maa Se: Aaj mairi Unse Larayi Hogayi
.
Maa: Baita Shadi mai Jhagry tu Hotay Rehty hain, koi baat nahi
.
Baiti: Wo tu Theek hai Par Ab Laash ka kia karain?

Larki ek Baba Jee se: Baba jee mere lie dua Karen ke meri shadi kesi samajdar admi se hojaye
.
Baba Jee: Ghar chali ja baiti, Samajdar admi khabi shadi nahi karta

Girl: Doctor sahib mairy boyfriend ko andar bhula lejeye
.
Doctor: Trust me mai shareef admi ho….
.
Girl: Nahi Doctor Sahib, apki nurse bahir akeli hai, owr maira boyfriend shareef nahi hai

Doctor: Bachy ko pani dainy se pahle ubaal lia karain
.
Sardar: Wo tu teekh hai lekin Ubaalny se Bacha mar tu nahi jayega??

Urdu Sms

Love is life

Love is life,
life is wife,
wife is knife,
knife cut the life

Neche se bahir nikalo

Dost: Biwi se jhagda hua tha na solve hua kya ???

Santa: Haan meri biwi Ghutno pe chal ke aayi thi mere pass

Dost: Ohh Kya bola???

Santa: Boli palang ke niche se bahar nikalo .

Ab nhi marungi

Sardar Ne Idhar Udhar Dekha

Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela
Note ke oper lekha tha EID MUBARAK
.
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha,
owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola
KHAIR MUBARAK

Mun Mai Pani Ana

Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
Mun mai pani ana”
.
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia

A Creative Man Is Motivated

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve,
not by the desire to beat others.

Khawab Ki Tabeer

Mere Wajood Ki JaGeer USS Ne Mangi hai,
Ajab Khawab Ki Tabeer Us Ne Mangi hai,
Uss Ki Qaid Me Rehti Hoon Main Pehle B,
Najane Phir Q Zanjeer Us Ne Mangi hai?
Gumaan Hota ha Wo Bhool Sakta hai mujhe,
Q K Aaj Meri Tasveer Us Ne Mangi hai,
Mere KHUDA Mujhe Us K Naseeb Mein Likh De,
K Mujh Se Meri TaQ’Deer Us Ne Mangi hai